19 years! Time for an update

Ok, I got a nice little message in my inbox.. And the last time I logged in was like 15 years ago and a LOT has changed.

From going to university, to getting a part time job. Driving has ended up being the thing I required and now thanks to a friend, dogs. When I originally wrote this blog, I was struggling dealing with an ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and it is still the case as if you seen my potentially libel posts from 20 years ago (roughly), you'd see exactly what I mean.

If I am honest, it is still the same now, but I have spent about 13 years in employment. One thing I didn't mention at the time is I did secure a place at University and I did study a subject, then left with a not so great grade. For employment, this didn't stop me, but I still worked really hard. The worst and most degrading part at the time is that I ended up on benefits shortly after my last entry in 2007 (I think it was). Which was ironic as I went to the Job Centre to get a job and at the time, I went on benefits claiming I was "too sick to work". However, didn't stop me, I got a job in a sports club part time, then got another job with the local council part time. Then not too long afterwards, got yet ANOTHER job part time, which was an agency role. Little did I know I would be taken on part time by the same company, yeah, I've got to be really careful how I talk about that. The original company I applied for I gave up and has left its mark on me for good and a really bad one.

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Long awaited update (when prompted)

Yes, its one of those things of life, you get soo busy and you journal hasn't been updated for some time and you think "oh, where do I find time to fit it all in?". Well, prospective grades can cause problems, especially when you head for the top grades possible and your social life tends to suffer as a result. In fact, everything (bar me, probably my sleeping pattern is) is suffering badly. Although, I would of blogged about a stolen bus in Chichester, I suppose it wouldn't be entirely appropiate for here. (Ouch!)

Life really hasn't changed much since August, except the long expired ban, which then lead me to push out the Railbus PDQ, I was only 5 days over for the intial version, then I got a request from soneone else, as some know, I can't really talk about it, due to a little thing called the NDA.
Then Mac beta testing ended, my mac failed and Auran started sinking (oh, I'll remember 2007 with fond memories).

Perhaps its not all bad news, next year is when I might change the most, due to my plans of going to a university, only because what I wish to do in the college, is not always possible. Still, I am continuing my graphics work, heres something created for college, I never finished.
boat

On a good note, Cara recently gave birth to 7 beatiful puppies, all males and all Irish Red & White Setters, now lets hear an "Awwww!"

Excessively large image
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

I'll wait for them to start chewing everything, then my mum might regret becoming a breeder!


On another note, I am blogging elsewhere, Facebook in fact.
45132 from the bank.

One useful thing working for a preserved line, you can take shots of the loco you work on, in different positions. I've also managed to cab 33208 for the entire length of a line, when Bittern slipped to a halt at MS&4Ms (Those that know the line, will know hte station). :) Somewhat loud, certaintly one loco you couldn't have a conversation in. The loco also has slipped tires, which as they slip further and further, could lead to a derailment, not one thats drastic for 25mph though. I'll have to get a photo of the bogies over the weekend, to explain (sorry guys).


Finally, yes we do get our fair share of vandals, this is what happens if you leave a coach at Alton overnight.
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Shocking enough for you? (taken on the 08/12/2007, I think this one is the next to be repainted.)

Alania again

I thought that was the last of Alania when I blocked her back in June (IIRC - I can't be bothered to look at the moment), so I thought I'll unblock her, thinking that she would not return. Oh no, I was wrong, firstly, she asked me to get James to contact her (JS), so I duly did, but didn't say a word, then today, she fires a tehnical question at me and thanked me for getting James into contact with her/him/them/what.

I say her/him/them/what as I question their sexuality and orentation. Firstly, I was sent voice clips of "her" during the last time I knew her, it sounded like a bloke trying to immatate a woman to my hearing, hers differs, so I thought "yeah right, someones decived me again" and blocked her. Now she comes back and tells me she has found someone else. Good on "her", except, she had her generic pic, then changed it for the one of her unclothed unrepeatable region here.

Yeah, so I am after a girlfriend, or was, I really can't be bothered to look as I have just had too many problems with a few of them, another scared me by rushing things too fast and those that are attracted to me, aren't the ones I like anyway!

Anyway, more discussions and to be honest, I am trying to verify "it", to see if she is who she says or not. She is unwilling to demostrate her face or whatever on a webcam, but instead, shows me images by changing her display pic, which I am questioning where they came from, appears to be from a pornographic site, even if I haven't seen these images before, although, she has seen me on webcam more than once and I felt forced into what I didn't want to do.

In the meantime, I am questioning if she is Rob, who both Alania and Rob seem to share some simliarities in behaviour, then she wanted to meet up at one point, being the fool I am, I stayed for an hour and a half, nothing acknoleged on the phone and no show in person in a smokey pub in Chichester



So, since some are good at advice, my question is, do I believe her for everything, not believe her at all or take some discression?


On a ligther note, my phsycriatric appointments have been discontinued as things are relivitly more stable, even if I did smash up a reduntant keyboard (by introducing it to a sledge hammer) and my fists together on numerous occasions, while I was banned from Auran (which expires next week) and money/accomodation became unstable and I have now started joining the crew to preserve "Peak" 45132, which is at Ropley on the Mid Hants Railway, a fine loco she is, if the generator works and the batteries could turn the engine over!


And for Louise, the 141 is virtually complete with a few interior pannels to texture, oops! A lot of them!
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(The_way_back, please don't ask about the non authentic livery, it was suppose to be Class_143's stop-gap, until I made a Class 142 or 143!)
At this point, I should thank and indeed, I do thank dj_zuki in her assistance in this project, her valuable contribution was more than needed and proved very helpful, but after I got the body done, as we both know it, its not the end of the project, there is the interior to make and the scripting to do.

WANTED: Looking for...

.. a much more appreciative community than Auran/Trainz is. The stress I have had from being banned, the divorce and worrying about whats happening in the future, is becomming far too much for me to handle. In the meantime, I've thought about doing the unthinkable things, because quite simply, I cannot cope.

So, does anyone know of a railsim that would appreciate my tallents, a lot more than Auran can without going into MSTS?

P.s. Louise, that means the 141 release is off, you'll have to release it.

Another disaster...

Today, apart from going absolutely furious about my ban and recommending those who don't like the ban, to contact helldesk, my family didn't quite expect the dogs to do stupid things.

Charlie (who is an Irish Red and White Setter) managed to do the unthinkable to Cara (Irish Red and White Setter), according to my mother. My mother wanted to breed from Cara, but she never thought it would happen close to home as aparently, Charlie raped Cara in my mums terms.

Just shows you, even animals will do it to each other, if given half the chance, for Charlie, this is wierd anyway, because (we all thought) he had no interest in Cara and is attracted to male dogs anyway........! Oh, how wrong we are now.

To add insult to injury, Charlie carries that age old inherited condition, Caterax (spelling?). Basically means "Unmatable!" Until he did.
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Shit, shit, more shit and instability.

If it isn't the UK flooding (which thankfully, I am not affected) causing problems, its now the fact that I am banned from UK Trainz and the entire Auran community.

As a result of this, I have been both angry and rather and now its getting to the point where I am now starting to cut myself off from everyone. As a result, I am also thinking of binning the Class 141 unit, which I have been slaving away on for 2 weeks, permantly, without it seeing the DLS. (I know Louise will be extra unhappy with that.)

The logitivty within Trainz and how long I have been in the forums, since day 14 of the forums, means that if I pack Trainz in completely, I'd of been a member for about 23 days shy of 7 years.

And whats this all about? One comment to "A_Dr_K4" after having a huge problem with my computer, destroying my Class 141 mesh.
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For those interested, heres what it looks like. Its still the same now and I have just about lost all incentive to continue.


Oh, I don't think I'd be welcomed by anyone in Trainz anymore after this, either.
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Life of WEN - the latest..

Nothing much has been going on recently, except I finally completed Yr1 of my course (now onto Yr2). The college time has been a mix of trying to get down and work on my assignments, which I finally got through with a high grade, which I won't disclose.

I am however, still thinking about leaving the UK for Aus in the next year, something I very much like to do, since the UK for me, feels rather worthless, considering, that "Chav reality" has taken over and it causes me a few problems, some which I would love to escape from, especailly my hair colour. (and before anyone tells me that can be fixed, it breaks one of my commitments!).

Next thing everyone someone is going to ask, what about relationships? Truth is, I've decided (sorry Electra to mention this) that Anakata does have a good point, but unlike Anakata, whatever reason she had for her troubles, mine I believe is caused by society, so, why bother with relationships when society will go to those that they see are popular with everyone, only to find that all they want to do, is use women for their own benefits?

Third thing, what have I done since the last LJ entry?
Well, again, not a lot, apart from college work and Trainz work wherever possible. I am now hitting the job page again, to see where I can go, Tanya has got some sort of luck, she has an interview tomorrow and could be working on Saturday(!). I won't reveal where yet, but she might have a boyfriend in the near future, that likes her, I can imagine for the bar work she intends to do, that there will probably someone that will come back and constantly keep drinking and talking to Tanya.
Ironcally, I've also ended up talking to a group, who they call "The Church of Jesus Crist", not because I am wishing to become religious, I don't actually, but I am interested in stories they hear, so I now have the huge book of Mormon to do, which college has taken priorities.
I won't reveal what I think about all religions, all I can say is that they are all equal to what their goals are, but interperted in different ways.

As for the rest? Computer playing up, divorce is becoming like "Wheres my money?" and I am still knackered out.

Oh well


EDIT:
2 things I have missed:

1, Firstly, don't try Longhorn server, I have, it is still miracously on my Clevo laptop, which again, miracously has survived virtually intact, despite being my main college machine for a year (About 150 trips to college and back).
The OS is great, it feels, works and functions like Vista, the driver side is absolutely astounding. There was no graphics drivers to begin with and I am still missing this lot:
(Screenshot to be added).
However, I was supprised when I had a PCLine (cheapest available scanner, thats how bad the situation on money and the divorce is!) when I plugged it in, inserted the drivers CD and it worked! The windows VISTA drivers are a different story, with Open GL support lacking and my 2 most important tools, 3D Studio Max and Crap Mangler Plus (Content Manager Plus!) do not work at all under the OS. Outdated Visual Basic 6 does, from what I have tried and so do a few of my legancy programs.


2, I am sorry if I offend anyone in my statement, but in this moment, I am rather glad.
The word "NatFly" however I am finally glad that I won't hear or see any more of her. This means that it is a huge lead weight lifted, which I would be worried if I had to continue with her in College. Its that there is nothing wrong with the girl herself, its just that the whole situation has esculated so far out of control, I feel so much more vunerable now then I did then, and I was talking to Nat at the lowest time in my life.

However, since I know "Natfly" is leaving the UK, but staying in the European Union, I'd love to leave some encouraging comment to her and say "Good luck to her future and I do hope she is successful in what she chooses to follow as her career path and who she chooses to be with.", since that falls on deaf ears, why would I bother?